Top 50 Rajinikanth Jokes

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Rajinikanth

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Rajinikanth is called Logic

Rajinikanth showers with bleach and steel wool.

Rajinikanth doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

There used to be a street named after Rajinikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajinikanth and lives.

Rajinikanth has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

Rajinikanth died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Rajinikanth WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.

Rajinikanth has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Rajinikanth can speak Spanish... In Russian

Some magicans can walk on water, Rajinikanth can swim through land.

Rajinikanth and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Rajinikanth doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Rajinikanth can cut through a hot knife with butter

Rajinikanth once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Rajinikanth counted to infinity - twice.

Rajinikanth is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Death once had a near-Rajinikanth experience

Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Rajinikanth.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Rajinikanth stories.

Rajinikanth will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Rajinikanth can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Rajinikanth once took a lie detector test. The machine confessed everything.

Rajinikanth once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

When Rajinikanth does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Rajinikanth allows to live.

Rajinikanth can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Rajinikanth.

The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

Rajinikanth doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Rajinikanth' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajinikanth has allowed to live.

Rajinikanth made a Happy Meal cry.

The Waiting Line for Rajinikanth' Office is better known as "Death Row".

Rajinikanth does not sleep. He waits.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rajinikanth.

Freddie Krueger has trouble sleeping because of Rajinikanth

Rajinikanth does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Rajinikanth goes killing.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Rajinikanth pajamas.

When the president pushes the big red button Rajinikanth's cell phone rings

Rajinikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

The Greeks created the Olympics for Rajinikanth. Rajinikanth created the Special Olympics for the rest of us.

They found Rajinikanth's diary...It is now known as The Guiness Book of World Records.

Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Rajinikanth can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.

Rajinikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.

Rajinikanth and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest; the loser had to never hit puberty.

When Rajinikanth looks at himself at a mirror, there is no reflection. There can only be one Rajinikanth.